An update and new address....

Well, for anyone who knows us personally, you know what we have been busy with the last month....Our son Russell Cameron Carmichael entered this world weighing 6.08 pounds and measuring 21 inches. He had a rough start due to some medicines during his birthmom's labor, so after an emergency C-section he had to go to the NICU where he was on a ventilator for a few hours. His daddy and I got to see him around 11:30 pm that evening after the doctor told us about his condition. We were nervous and scared but knew that God had him in his hands. He had tubes and wires connected to him but from the first moment we saw him, we knew he was perfect. He gripped his daddy's finger and was fighting to get that tube out of his lungs! We felt so blessed and couldn't believe this day had finally come.
We are so excited to be on this new journey of parenthood...it has been a challenging, rewarding, and sleepless journey but one we wouldn't trade for the world.
I think we will continue this blog but at a different address...I will let you know where to find us!

so much to say....

I have more I want to post and will soon...but need to pack for our annual girls trip with my "in-laws"...this will be the last "get away" before baby boy arrives!

Finishing up the nursery

We've finished with painting the trim and the crib is up, we are anxiously awaiting our baby boy. We've been blessed with family and friends who have showered us with all things baby. Truly we have the best family and friends...we couldn't ask for more. The support we have received, the prayers, love and gifts are more than I can comprehend sometimes. So, THANK YOU! I'll post more with pictures soon.

Definition of Family...ever changing

I haven't updated this blog in a while...we've been busy getting things ready, working on the house and the nursery. We've traveled again to see "C" October 30th. We got down there again in time to take her to a movie, do a little shopping and go out to dinner. She was expecting her dad to come visit her the next day which was his birthday. She really wanted to buy him a birthday present and had saved a little bit of her money. We helped her buy him some cologne and a card. She really wanted for him to visit but he did not show up. After talking with her later, she said she wasn't surprised, but had hoped he would've come. I know she was disappointed. I think this is one thing she wants differently for "our" son. It was a good visit, but emotional. At dinner, she became teary-eyed and just said, "this is really hard". We didn't know what else to say other than, we know and we're here for you.
Truth is, we don't know. We don't know what it is like to consider giving up a baby, We don't know what it is like to have virtually no family support. It is difficult for us in a different way. The waiting has been difficult. The anxiety and nervousness, wondering would she change her mind, will we be good parents, the overwhelming feeling of "are we ready?", etc, etc...Adoption is hard, it is painful at times, but in the end this experience has brought together two families who share the love for one little baby boy. We love "C" like she is family, because she is.

About 9 weeks and counting...

So hard to believe it is already October...We went to visit C yesterday, October 3rd. Exactly 2 months until her due date. We didn't get as early of a start as we hoped, but got to Greenville about 2:00 and headed to the movie theater. She said it had been a long time since she had actually been to the movies...we went with her choice which ended up being a scary movie. I don't usually watch scary movies anymore, so I spent a good part of it with my hand over my eyes. Then we were all hungry and ready to eat so we headed to Ruby Tuesdays. Love, love their salad bar. Anyway..there was a little bit of an awkward silence again...it seems like the first part of the visit is just us getting comfortable with each other again. She has some tough decisions ahead of her, like what to do and where to go once the baby is born. She definitely wants to go back and further her college education. One thing she said today (and has said before) that really gets me is talking about God's timing. She was actually homeless, her mother kicked her out and she was in a homeless shelter and at that point was connected to our attorney. They picked her up that weekend and brought her to Greenville. She said, "God was right there...it was a blessing...for me and for y'all"
We just continue to pray for C, baby boy, and their health as these last weeks wind down.

The painting is complete...thanks honey!

Even though the blue was pretty dark, it was going to definitely require 2 coats to cover up the lime green....Walter to the rescue....it turned out nice...still need to paint the trim.

Here's my helper again...blue kitty...almost!

I taped this time and did all the edges so we could go back and get the larger area....I think this time the shiny metal on the brush had Daisy intrigued. I tried to get a little video of her, but it didn't turn out. She kept following the brush with her head....silly cat...and she got as close to the wall as she could get without turning blue!

Daisy tries to help

So, we are painting the nursery, and everywhere I go, the cat goes....she always shows up, she wants to be in the middle of everything. I guess she was there to supervise me, especially since I wasn't using tape to begin with and getting paint on the trim....oh well...will just have to paint over it...the trim needed touch up anyway.

Will keep posting nursery pictures...this is starting to feel sooo real......

Transracial Adoption

We still have a lot to learn and will always be learning, that is what life and parenting are all about....

This is a great video clip highlighting transracial adoption. I pray that our son will feel this way when he is all grown up....

The guessing game is over!

It's a BOY! (that is just a facial profile picture...didn't want our son to blame us later for damage incurred by showing everything!)

Walter and I traveled to SC to be with C while she had her ultrasound appointment. Though after talking with her on the phone prior to our visit, she did say she only felt comfortable with me being in the room with her. I think mainly just because I was another "girl" and we had spent a little more time together. Luckily we were able to get a disc of the images and one is a brief "video" image.

It was incredible to see all of the "parts", the heart chambers, the spine, the head, arms, legs and of course finally knowing if we should paint pink or blue. He was a little stubborn, keeping his legs crossed, wasn't sure if we were going to be able to find out. The first thing C said after the tech said it was going to be a boy, "well, you won't have to worry about doing hair". (meaning a little girl...which we had joked about me need to learn...) Everything else looked great, normal measurements, he's 2 pounds right now which is pretty normal for 28 weeks and we're on target for December 3rd.

The tech printed out the images and gave them to C, some were duplicates and she was showing me which ones I could have. Still reminding me that this is the baby she is carrying. She was very gracious and comforting to us. We took her out for dinner and had a really good conversation. She sincerely feels she is making the best decision for herself and for her baby. We already love this little guy and can't wait to meet him. This will definitely be a Christmas to remember this year!

Now, on to look at nursery items and paint colors!

September 5th, 2010

I went with C last Wednesday to her doctor's appointment (first OB appointment in Greenville). Turns out it was an intake appointment with the nurse, she took vital signs and they did lab work including a glucose tolerance test, but no ultrasound. Apparently Medicaid does not pay for a new OB appointment and an ultrasound on the same day. Plus the ultrasound machines and techs were in another building. So, no news yet about the gender. They scheduled her for September 10th for an ultrasound and Walter and I are both planning to go. It will be nice to have him come this time. Those 3 hours driving there and then back get lonely! As far as we know all the lab work was fine.

After C's appointment, I took her out to Ruby Tuesdays for a late lunch/early dinner and then we went to Wal-Mart to pick up a few things. She still doesn't have cable and since you have to have a converter box now to pick up antenna channels, she's a little bored shall we say! We got another dvd tv series and I had brought her a puzzle book to help keep her busy. We hung up some pictures in her apartment to make it a little cozier.

This time was definitely less awkward, C was quiet at first but after her appointment and drinking that sugary drink (for her test) she was very talkative! It was nice to have some "bonding" time and we planned to go get nails done, but we ran out of time.

We are still nervous and excited and at times feel like we are dreaming but continuing to pray for C and the baby's health.

Our first meeting...expanded version

Two weeks ago we left on a Saturday morning a little after 8:30 filled with excitement and anticipation headed to Greenville SC to meet our birth mother. In these updates, I will just call her C to respect her privacy. After stopping a few times to make sure none of the furniture was going to fly off the back of the truck, we finally made it to her apartment around 12. We had to wait a little bit for C and her birth mother liaison Danielle to get back from grocery shopping. They arrived along with a guy to help Walter move the furniture into the 2nd floor apartment.

When C got out of the car and our eyes met, I felt at peace, we hugged and said our hellos and proceeded into the apartment. Danielle suggested I stay in the apartment with C while she and the guys unloaded the truck. I helped C put away groceries, we chit chatted nervously and tried to think of things to say. I showed her some of the things our family and friends had given us to bring and she was very thankful. Her favorite color is yellow, but she loves bright colors, so we had a yellow rug she put in the kitchen, another great friend gave her brand new green towels and bathroom set and she loved those too.

I left the bolts/screws that held the kitchen table legs to the table and Walter needed to get a few other things, so he left and went to Lowes and Danielle was finished so she left too. So it was just me and C. We sat in an awkward silence for a little while, I would ask some questions about her college or her family and she would answer. I think she was just shy, nervous and tired. She even dozed off for a few moments sitting on the couch. Then she had the idea to go sit in her room where we had set up the tv and dvd player. I had brought her Miss Congeniality 1 and 2 because she had said those were her favorite movies, but she also had a movie with her, and when she pulled it out, it was funny because, I said that's my favorite movie...How to Lose a Guy in 10 days! ;) So we watched part of that while we waited for Walter to return.

Once we got everything settled at the apartment, we left and went to Olive Garden for a late lunch. We were all starving. She said she had never been to an Olive Garden. Lunch conversation was still kind of awkward silence, but we did talk more about her family and ours. She says she talks to her dad everyday. She seems to be closest to her dad out of all of her family but I don't think that was always the case. It did sadden us a little because when we talked about Christmas, (she said, you guys will have a nice Christmas present) she said Christmas was like another day to her, she didn't really spend it with family, she wasn't close to a lot of her family.

After lunch we took her to a store to get a shower curtain and bedspread, we picked up a few other necessities and when we got back in the car,and you could tell she was a little overwhelmed, she said thank you so much for everything. This is my favorite moment of the day: Walter replied, "You're family, that's what we do for family."

Even with all the awkward silence and nervous moments, I think the day turned out very well, I feel more comfortable about everything and I am planning to go with her to her first doctor's appointment.

Please continue to keep all of us in your prayers. We thank you so much for your love and support.

A lot to digest

We met our birth mother for the first time today. I think we were all nervous and anxious and just overwhelmed. But we hugged and smiled and had a few laughs here and there. Almost need to sit back and reflect some more before writing more about it....but my favorite moment of the day was when C (our birth mother) said thank you in response to furniture and items we brought to her and bought for her, Walter's immediate response without hesitation was, "you're family, that's what we do for family." That totally warmed my heart and sent goosebumps down my arms.

Tomorrow is the first step....

In a new journey....yes....we were matched with a birth mother and we will meet her tomorrow for the very first time! We have talked with her on the phone and shared some texts back and forth but tomorrow will be the first face to face meeting! We are nervous, excited, thrilled, anxious, every great emotion rolled into one. Will she like us? Will we be good enough for her?

She sounds so sweet on the phone and really seems to have a good head on her shoulder.

I just pray that God will guide us all in the right direction, calm our nerves and relieve any fears we all might have. I know this is a HUGE decision for her and I am grateful that she is trusting us with the opportunity to parent her baby.

The past 2 1/2 years of waiting, going through potential matches, etc have been a roller coaster of a ride....but I am putting my faith in God that this is the ONE and that the wait will be worth it all.

News to come....

We've had some recent activity and while I can't say much now, I hope to be able to really soon.... God is good. All the time...

Hope and a Future, when we seek Him

11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.. Jeremiah 29: 11-13

I am reminded that when I call upon God, He will hear me, hear my prayers and listen to me. For when I seek Him with all of my heart, I will find Him.

It has been a tough week with many people in our lives experiencing deep hurts and losses. It has caused me to draw closer to God and rely on Him. Prayer is a powerful tool, I believe it changes us more than anything else.

Prayers Needed

I am sure when you are a parent there are many things you hope never happen to your child. I imagine you pray for their safety and health everyday. I can't imagine what this family is going through right now. Burnie Little is a physician assistant who has been on many medical mission trips to Honduras and I have had the privilege to share some of those trips with him and most recently this year, his wife Tina went with us. Lucas also has a younger brother Spencer.
They are facing one of those unimaginable crises right now with their oldest son Lucas, 21 yrs old, involved in a serious car accident last Thursday. Here is a link to their blog

Please lift up this family in prayer.

Totally off the subject

This blog post has nothing to do with our adoption journey, but with fabulous blog finds I have stumbled across upon. While looking for decorating ideas, ways to re-purpose items, and just general fun, I have run across some amazing blogs.

Here are a few....

My Dear Trash

My Re-purposed Life

Thrifty Decor Chic This one led me to the other blogs, love her Goodwill makeovers!

There are so many more great decorating idea blogs out there...I'll keep looking and gathering inspiration from them!

I look forward to decorating our new home, I know it will take time after all of the unpacking. But, I look forward to fun new projects to make it our space.

We're moving!

Yes, we are moving! finally! We feel like this is a start to a new beginning in our lives, a renewed hope in our adoption journey. We will have a back yard for our dog to run free in, and when the time comes, for a little one to play in.

We are excited and nervous at the same time. Lots of packing to do, but we've had many offers of help...so if you are one of them, we'll be calling on you! What I really need help with is furniture arranging and decorating...or at least trying to find a decorating style. I've been checking out some blogs that are focused on home improvement/decorating. I really like
this website. She has some really cool ideas, especially with yard sale and Goodwill finds!...check it out.

We'll keep you updated on the move and the adoption...stay tuned!

Steven Curtis Chapman - I will trust You

Roller Coaster Ride

To borrow from a fellow blogger, this week (or last few weeks) have been a roller coaster ride of emotions and circumstances for us. We sold our condo and bought a house (at least the preliminary process of all of that), I went to a conference, visited some long-time friends and received a call in the car on the way back that would change our lives (at least for the next few days..) We have been active with our attorney for only about a month and a half. They don't even have all of our paperwork from our SW yet...but they called us this week with a potential situation and wanted to know if we wanted our profile shown to this birthmother.

The first thought is YES! Then more details follow, jail, drug use, multiple children already placed elsewhere, etc, etc.... Then I just think about the baby, the innocent baby, the one who needs a good home, a stable home, a home with parents that can love her or him unconditionally. We felt led to say yes to this situation for a variety of reasons but mostly because we did talk and pray about it. We prayed for the birthmom who has had a difficult life and has made some bad decisions, we prayed for her pregnancy (and still do) that no matter what the outcome with us, that this baby will be healthy and safe and find a safe, loving home. We prayed for the baby, that the drugs have not done any damage or very little. We prayed for the rest of her family. In the end this situation did not work out. It has been a tumultuous three days resulting in an outcome that although was not wanted by us, is probably best for our family in the long run. In Steven Curtis Chapman's song, "I Will Trust You" He sings:

God, I trust You

I will trust You
I know Your heart is good
I know Your love is strong
And I know Your plans for me
Are much better than my own

This song was written in response to the tragic death of one of his adopted daughters. I admire his strength, his will to go on in the face of such a tragedy. It is because of his faith that he is able to do this. And because we serve such a loving God who is ALWAYS there for us, even when we turn away, I can trust that His plan is much better than my own.

Prayers Answered....

Yes, we sold our condo! It's been a whirlwind of a few weeks, having multiple showings, looking for houses ourselves, going back and forth with offers, and finally signing contracts! It's official! We now get to go through termite inspections, regular inspections, etc, etc... Hopefully all of this will go smoothly and we will be moving into a house with nothing attached to it on either side (no more shared walls!) A house with a fenced in back yard, a garage, a formal dining room, all things we haven't ever had on our own. We're grateful for this time in our life, and thank God for answered prayers and our many blessings. We continue to pray for the baby He is preparing for us and that will move into our new house! We're excited, nervous, happy, scared, all these emotions rolled into each other. We know the next few months will be a busy time in our lives. I'm looking forward to it!

Laura

Mark Schultz - Everything To Me - story behind the song

I first found this on another adoption blog and felt that I needed to repost it here. What Mark says about a birthmother having only 3 choices is so true. Keep the child, abortion, or make an adoption plan. I think any birthmother who chooses an adoption plan over abortion is a truly remarkable, courageous person. To endure the pregnancy for 9 months, to intimately know that baby and then be brave enough to place that baby for adoption, is beyond my comprehension. But for us, it is what we pray for. We pray for the birthmother out there that is contemplating that decision or has already made that decision. We know we're not perfect, but we love each other and would love to give a safe and loving home to a child one day (soon we hope...)

Mark Schultz - Everything To Me (Video)

"The check is in the mail"

As cheesy as that sounds, that is the reality! We sent off the retainer fee for the attorney this week and are busy gathering other supporting documents that will go along with our home study to send him. I should say, busy waiting for our SW to send us a release form so we can get him all the necessary forms. Waiting, waiting, waiting....a theme in our life right now.
Waiting for someone to buy our condo, waiting for a baby...God is teaching me patience everyday....not an easy lesson.

I just emailed the attorney our adoption portfolio, pictures of us, stories of us and our family...I updated our original one, and am not going to try to get real "fancy" with it. Simplicity. Honesty. Reality. Family. I pray that the birth mother that reads our profile and is seeking for an adoptive family will see those things in our lives. Here's a few of the photos in our profile:


Fun at the beach! showing how we cut up at dinner :)


One of my birthday celebrations...Walter with the bunny ears!


Mom and I at her 70th birthday party

Me and my brother Joe

Will post more later...need to get to bed. I can get consumed with reading blogs, looking at pictures, reading adoption sites and more!

Always Song Lyrics | Building 429

This song spoke to me today as I was driving to work, it reminded me that God is with us ALWAYS. We don't always acknowledge Him, but He is there by our side. I know that He is with us on this journey and that in this life we still have a lot to learn. I know that He will guide us and direct us if we stop long enough to listen to His still small voice.

chorus:
Cause I believe always always
Our Savior never fails
Even when all hope is gone
God knows our pain and His promise remains
He will be with you always

Always Song Lyrics | Building 429 Lyrics | Christian Music Song Lyrics | NewReleaseTuesday.com

Update

I wish when I typed update, that it would be BIG news, but it's not the BIG news that Walter and I and the rest of our family and friends would like to hear. At least not yet anyway. We did meet with our SW for our 18 month home study update. As I type 18 months, I can hardly believe it. At times it seems like an eternity, other rare times it doesn't seem as long.

I do feel a little more hopeful now, at least like we are "doing something" rather than just waiting. Becky told us the plans CSS has to be more public and get information out to potential birthmothers using today's technology rather than relying on the yellow pages and brochures. Of course with anything that requires approval from someone else, this too will take time. But, I am at least happy to see that they do realize that they need to keep current and are taking steps to do so.

So, now we still need a few more pieces of documentation to finish up for the updated home study, but once that's done we can send those on to the attorney and proceed with him. Since he is an attorney and not another independent agency, we can still work with CSS, which is something we weren't sure we could do.

I know all things work together for the good according to God's will and things happen in HIS good time. He knows what is best for us, it is just hard for our human condition to be patient.

I am working on our profile (with photos, etc) again to update it and am getting caught up in the presentation, should I use this particular web site or that one, wanting to make it perfect...but perfection is not required, just sincerity and honesty.

New Direction, New Hope

It's been a while since we've posted to this blog. May 2008 is when we first started in our process of adoption with Catholic Social Services. At times we have been hopeful, but lately just mostly frustrated. Thankfully God knows what we need and has placed people in our lives when we needed it most. Walter has a co-worker who shared her adoption story with us recently and through that sharing, we feel we are being led in a different direction. We have decided to pursue a different avenue towards adoption. We had a conference call a few weeks ago with an adoption attorney from Greenville, SC. He has been working with adoptive families and birth parents for over 20 years. He and his wife also adopted their own children and are therefore very invested in helping couples. We have completed the initial intake form and the next steps are to send him our home study (which is due to be updated), a retainer fee, and our portfolio.
Please continue to hold us in your prayers, in the midst of all of this we are also trying to sell our house and buy a bigger one so we'll be ready when we finally bring home our daughter or son.

Here is a link to the attorney's website www.scadopt.net
Laura