Here we are again, we attended our 2nd Annual Adoption Picnic with CSS. Again, with no child of our own. Last year it did not seem to matter to me that much, it was soon after our home study had been approved, it was smaller and with only our local office. We had a chance to meet one couple who were also waiting and another who had just received their child a month before. We enjoyed talking with them and had a relatively good time.
This year CSS decided to open the picnic to all 3 offices and include domestic and international adoption families. It still wasn't as big of a crowd as I thought (graduation weekend, beach trips, etc) but there were quite a few international families there. That is a whole other story there. The adoption language and the whole process is just different. We met a couple who just had their "dossier registered" in Moscow. Still not sure what that exactly means, but they could have a child within the next six months and travel before then to see the child.
Another parent asked if we had our nursery "all ready"...wow. That kind of, no really, threw me off guard. When we first started this process, I did think for a moment that I would like to pick things out, get a crib, etc. But after talking with our social worker, and going through the adoption seminar, I knew that if we were waitng for 1-2 years or more, I couldn't bear to stare at an empty crib not knowing when it would happen. Lots of emotions for us both today. We felt awkward and out of place. We agreed we would not go back to one of the picnics until we had our child with us.
I've posted before about being patient and wating...it is hard, but I know it is what we must do.
We visited a church today that spoke on the Lord's prayer, HIS will be done. Also, about "living life over there", like living for when we have a child, when this or that happens and not really living for today. It is difficult but I realized sitting there listening to the sermon and the music that I have not fully trusted God with this. I haven't fully given it over to Him. That will be a daily struggle a daily discipline. I know there are many of you out there praying for us and that God has our best interests in His will and plan for our life. We appreciate ALL of the prayers and thoughts and know that you will rejoice with us when we finally bring our child home.
The following verses are both from the book of James that have brought me comfort today.
James 1: 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6 But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.
James 4: 13 Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." 14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15 Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that."
