PRIVACY AND OUR CHURCH COMMUNITY

So here's the thing.  I'm excited about adopting a child.  I'm ready to bring the child into our family.  What I'm not sure I'm ready to do is share the whole process with the world at large.  For example, there are people that I have told whom I am comfortable with and know and trust.  Yet tomorrow, Laura will be participating in a prayer at Church that involves giving a bit more information about our situation than I am comfortable with the whole congregation knowing.  I don't want to deal with the questions.  I don't want to have to deal with constantly being asked for updates.  I don't want people being nosey.  Church is about community, I get that. Church is about sharing with your community.  I get that.  But I also know that sometimes the marriage gets a little to crowded when too many people know too much.  The more people we tell the more people that know will grow exponentially.  I'm just not sure how comfortable I am with certain people in the church knowing this much, especially considering how little they think before they talk.  Their best intentions often come out in less than ideal ways.

Glimpses

I am a person who tends to believe in "signs"...I do believe that God speaks to us through other people. However, I do have a dose of reality that lives with me...and I know sometimes we see in things what we want to see. Whatever the case may be, I believe God is preparing my heart and our heart as a couple for the child we will be blessed with.

I have recently seen young children who were obviously different in appearance than their parents and grandparents...and I saw what tremendous love they showed their child...just in the glimpse that I witnessed. I know there will be difficulties and challenges no matter what.

I had a dream last night, a distinct dream, about getting the call, holding our baby in my arms and seeing his/her face. And it didn't matter in that moment of looking at her face that it didn't mirror my own...what mattered was that she was ours.

I know our wait could still be 1-2 years, so for now I will have to take comfort in these glimpses, trust in God and cherish the family that we are surrounded by.

The process moves on....

Though I know we still have a wait ahead of us, I feel like we are making progress. We recently went to our Adoption Workshop through CSS. It was a day long workshop that included information from the social workers on adoption myths, correct adoption language, what to expect, a birthmother panel discussion, an adoptive family panel discussion and much more.

It was informative, intense, emotional and at times overwhelming. I admired the courage of the birthmothers who shared their own story and experience. One thing that stood out to me was a comment made by one of the birthmothers (who made an adoption plan 6 years ago), a participant was commending her and her decision commenting that it must have been hard and the birthmother said, "I know what I did was difficult but I almost think that waiting for a child must be even more difficult." Both parties in the adoptive process go through some really difficult and trying times, there's no doubt about that. Each person in the process has their own individual story to tell and emotions to bear. I was grateful to hear her words though, that she could sense the struggle of those of us who for whatever reasons cannot give biological life to a child.

Other stories of hope were shared, and though I know there is no typical adoption story, there is no "typical waiting time", it gave me encouragement to hear the stories of the adoptive families. One family had 5 days to get their "junk" room ready for a nursery when they got the call. Though I hope we have a little more notice, we will be blessed and ecstatic to receive that call whenever it is meant for us.

The common theme of the day was, "when it's right, it will happen for you", or "there was something about them, and I just knew they would be the parents". I can't sit and worry (at least not yet anyway) that our profile book isn't right or did we put the right pictures in, or should we have done this or that...no we just have to trust in God that His time is perfect and He is looking out for us.

And we know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28 (emphasis mine)

Passing Time and praying

A lot has happened since I first started this blog, I had intended to post more but I think I was scared. Scared that someone may read it that shouldn't...scared just to put the thoughts out there. The thoughts, the frustrations, the anger, the hopes, fears, dreams...there are so many things going on in my mind and heart that it is hard just to describe one of them.

So, we completed our home study in July and we received the "official" letter September 23rd, that was dated September 22nd (Walter's birthday-that's a great gift!) stating that our home study had been approved and that we would be considered for any placements that fit ours and the birthmother's descriptions.

Now comes more waiting, passing time and praying....lots of praying. Praying that we can be the kind of parents we need to be to this special child, praying that we can hold on to hope and wait until it is the right time for us, praying for the birthmother that she is healthy and that she can make this most difficult decision. All of this is in God's hands now. It is not up to us to decide what child we are placed with anymore than it is for us to decide what kind of biological baby we would create together if we were able.

We went to a picnic recently and met a lot of other families who have been through what we are going through or are going through it now. It was comforting to hear their stories and to see their children in various stages of life. More than one person told us, this will be you next year or soon. Or they would say, "when it is right, it will happen for you." Sounds kinda like a cliche to me, but I do take comfort in those words.

So, here's to living life as we live it now and looking forward to living life with a child in our family.

As we begin

Walter and I are on a journey, a journey to complete our family. We are pursuing adoption through a local agency in our area. We've gotten through some of the preliminary hurdles-our application was accepted, we've begun the home study process with our first interview. We know we have a long ways to go, but we are excited (and nervous) that we have "taken the plunge"

We believe God is with us always and especially through this process. We couldn't do it without him.